My First Post

Well, I've decided to make this blog because I really need a place to vent. I don't really intend for anyone to read this blog. Really, I made this blog because I rather not talk about how I feel with persons and to me it's easier to type about it. A part of me hopes no one ever sees this but another part wants someone to see how much I'm hurting inside. Telling someone makes me feel so weak and vulnerable and I hate feeling that way. I also don't know who I can trust sometimes. Sometimes I'm just afraid of being judged. And other times I just feel sooo stupid for feeling sad. I even tend to feel depressed without knowing why. It's like the feeling just comes over me, kinda like in cartoons when a random dark cloud appears over a characters head and it rains, only for them, everyone else gets to enjoy the sunshine.

Well by now I guess you would have figured out, or at least you should have, that I'm a very depressed child. I don't want anyone to know lol. I think some of my friends should have seen the signs by now. Actually, a few have actually called me bipolar. I wonder how serious they are though. I've come to believe that I might actually be bipolar. My feelings change drastically a lot of times. Trust me. I love smiling though. But trying to always be happy can get to you sometimes. It like everything comes crashing down all at once to remind me that I'm not truly happy and might never be. I know I just being so stupid. I mean, there are many people out there in worse situations than I'm in. People starving, people with no family, outcasts, people who live in countries that are politically unstable, war, crimes, and all those other horrible things that people really shouldn't have to go through, especially children. But I'm still sad... depressed. And thinking that everything could be worse doesn't help. And knowing that there's probably someone else out there who feels the same way doesn't help either. It doesn't change the fact that I feel the way I feel. Well hopefully this blog, my blog, will help.

- Such Is My Life